Mental Health Awareness Month

It’s Mental Health awareness month (which should be every day). It’s important to break the stigma and spread awareness about mental illness. But as a person who has one, isn’t it more important that we are aware of ourselves and that we understand it as well? Something I hold on to Always whenever I survive an episode is maybe I’m not ready for whatever life throws at me but maybe I was built for this. In order for me to understand the pain others feel, I have to experience it. And by experience maybe I can help someone understand their own pain.

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It’s essential to know yourself for your road to recovery. Yes, medication helps but sometimes we have our own so-called “routine or regimen” that works for us. May it be exercising, reading, writing, going out, talking to someone about it or maybe just a portion of good food or good sleep.

In my case, it’s important to me that I’m okay before bed because that usually determine how my day would start the next morning.

By knowing yourself, you also have to know your triggers. Is it losing control over a situation? Stress? A certain person perhaps? Hunger, maybe? This will also teach you how to manage your emotions better. Little by little you will have more control over your illness than it has to you.

I know it’s better said than done but there’s no harm in trying right? With the medication, self-care and understanding your trigger maybe we’ll have a better chance of fighting our illness.

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What more can you do?

It only rained in patches here or there
today, as if the world was still unsure
of how to handle all this time alone.
Ignore the clock, but beg the grass to grow
when you’re away, eyes locked upon the lights.
The rain won’t wait, though sometimes it may slow,
that I could just catch up if I could fly.

10:30 now, the sidewalks are still wet,
though more so now than those streaked cheeks of yours.
The carpet’s texture is a new-found friend,
but up above, a sickly, hollow glow
reminds you that there’s always time to sleep
if you, by chance, grow sick of being you.
Stare down the ceilings— what more can you do?

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Peace

Peace
Must you be fleeting
Must you be a tease
We have to stop meeting
Then leaving
I need to be at ease

Peace
Must you lead me on
Checking in
Pretending to stay
Then on your way
I thought maybe this time you could move in
Not just play

Peace
You come you go
I hope
But I know
You’re show
Like a rerun
With a predictable ending
This heart needs more mending
So, for now, you are just lending
Fragments of your taste

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In the haste
I wait
Til peace will come and not leave
Please
Peace
Can we commiserate again
But this time
I need it not to end

Choose

You can still find the sun when the day is done
You can still find your path in the aftermath
You can still find purpose in your pain
You can still find rainbows in between the rain
You can still find love, though it may cost
You can still find yourself through all that’s lost
You can still move forward through every tear
You can still find yourself, just face your fear
You can still fulfill each dream not met
You can still decide to forgive or forget
The choice is yours when the crossroads hit
Do you choose to live?
Or do you choose to quit?

Finding Happiness

The way I see it – we spend a small golden slice of our time happy, excited – loving and feeling loved. We spend a lot of our time being okay – not happy, but not doing badly – just cruising – getting stuff done, building a life we can be proud of.Related image

We also spend a fair bit of our time feeling that darker pull. But we manage to skim over the top of it, move on & not dwell on it significantly. Just functioning, straining forward against the weight, trying to spot a ray of light around the next bend of the road.Image result for happy aesthetic

And finally, we make up the rest of our time getting punched out by our evil twin. Ruled by our worse fears, we assume the worst of others and start emotionally fight-clubbing with ourselves. All is black. It seems like it always has been. And always will.

But the bad times do pass – the dull times roll by … and around that magical bend in the road, the good times always come again. Maybe only for a splinter of time. Maybe you often go a while between drinks. But they do come. In the flicker of a smile. A burst of laughter that takes you by surprise. The sun on your back – an arm around the shoulder. Little precious buds of life … indescribably beautiful and so worth living for.

Neuro-diversity

There is something about the world we live in that continues to bother me and I know I need to continue to speak out about it. Why is it that the society we live in continues to seek out and prize individuals who speak quickly, loudly, and aggressively?

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I’ve seen people tired of feeling like they need to speak quicker, think quicker, and be different when the way they work is slow, methodical, and thoughtful, and I know they have great ideas and powerful points to bring to the table but why is there only one presentation of ideas that is prioritized over others? Having to take a second to gather oneself before thinking is important so that the person doesn’t just ramble.

It’s also extremely triggering when someone tells them that, “I’m running out of time.”, when the person is trying to articulate oneself, especially when they know what that person has gone through.

Neuro-diversity is a beautiful and powerful thing, Neuro-ableism is NOT. Why do people keep trying to prioritize one type of thinking/speaking/processing over another?

Falling in love with an Angel

I swear, whatever it is you do,

whatever it is you say,

You constantly keep taking my breath away,

Your stunning silhouette,

as you dance in the moonlight,

Fluid in motion,

as you steal the attention from the night,

I love the harmony between your heart and that of mine,

And the radiance with which your light does shine,

Let me hold you forever and breathe your essence in,

Give me a moment, so I can share with you from within,

An adoration that begins on the true premise of love,

There’s no waking hour when you’re not whom I think of,

You are everything sublime and beyond beautiful to me,

And there is no reason to ever doubt that,

so let it be…

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